My Words Came Back to Me... TWICE | A 2004 Note, a Godwink & The Man in the Arena

Have you ever gotten a sign so loud... you couldn't pretend you didn't hear it?

This solo episode starts as a tribute to my Medgie Militia - the listeners and friends who use words as weapons and had my back when a recent critique got under my skin. But then the signs started stacking up.

Last week, it was my old journals. This week? An email from an old colleague - with a note I wrote to her in 2004 attached. My own words, coming back to me... twice.

So I lean in. I revisit my conversation with Ryan Leckey, my former TV colleague who left to grow before I did - and the speech he mentioned that hits different now: "The Man in the Arena." Then I take you back to my FIRST guest, Dana Brewington - our Godwink of a meeting, our recent lunch, and her powerful words about why, when you're called to leave something... you must obey. Or listen.

Whether you call it God, the universe, or your gut - when it's time to move and you don't, the momentum doesn't wait for you.

This one moved me. I think it'll move you too.

Ryan's Motivation: Click here.

Dana's Testimony: Click here.

Lean into the turbulence.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Consider me your co-pilot for reinvention. Welcome aboard, friends. I'm Reagan Medji, a multi-Emmy Award-winning journalist who left my TV news career in 2025 to bet on myself. And it turns out I'm not the only one. Unscripted turbulence is for anyone who feels their life has been split into a before and an after. Take what lands, leave what doesn't, and please like, follow, and or subscribe. It helps more than you know. Wheels up. Let's get into it. Shall we begin? I think we're ready. Check, check, check. On the microphone, I don't want to see my level. I don't want to see my level. Here we go. Yep. Production party of one over here. Welcome to Unscripted Turbulence. I'm your host, Reagan Medgie, and we have an announcement. If you're watching, you'll see it. If you're just listening, I'll explain it. We have an addition to the studio, a little mic flag, which is on the bottom of my podcast mic. Now, if you watch my social media, you'll know that I received a package from Chief Swag Officer. And they, it's a company that creates mic flags. And I found them. They've been great. And I have a mic flag on my podcast mic and my podcast Nook. I also have two other podcast mic flags for the studio I record in. Shout out to Gotham Production Studios in Manhattan. So we have uh two situations going on. I had to figure out my camera angle here because I wanted you to get a good good look. I cleaned my background up a little bit. You see my Lady Emmy. See an airplane above me. Pilot was not too pleased. You see the airplane underbelly. And I said, for the love of God and everything holy, no one's focusing on that. But guess what they are going to be focusing on now? Because I said it. Oh well. Is that the airline he flies for? I don't know. Because we have many airplanes, many airplanes in the apartment. Let me tell you. Don't get me started on the Christmas tree. If you're not familiar, you can probably go back in my social and I'll do something this Christmas. So if you have an ornament you happen to see that has a microphone, a podcast microphone, if my mother-in-law is listening, because she's always asking for gifts, gift ideas. One does not have a podcast ornament of any kind for the Christmas tree. Just saying. So today I have been spending the morning trying to map out what I'm gonna say. And um, because pilot informed me he just landed, so I've got a I've got maybe a half an hour. We gotta bang this out because it's just a production when he comes home. Okay. I want to give a humongous shout out to all of you. All of you who love me, who support me. And I'm gonna lower this because I feel like this is up in my face, up in my grille. My microphone. I'm lowering it. Okay. You might not be able to see the mic flag, but again, a humongous shout out. Because I posted something on my social media account mentioning I got trolled a little bit, and it does happen. Okay, for 20 years I have dealt with trolls. Again, I like to think of them as those 1990s troll figurines with the hot pink hair or blue or yellow or whatever. And I ignore a lot of it because it's just, it's just not worth it. For whatever reason, this one comment got under my skin. Some people have asked what it is. I am not going to go into it. It's not worth it. There was a bit of constructive criticism in it, too. So it just got under my skin because I've dealt with constructive criticism and maybe just criticism for the past 20 years in TV. If you are a TV person, you know. Oh, you know. So I just don't want to hear it, right? I'm still figuring it out. I'm doing my own thing. I am trusting the process. Anyway, shout out to all of you for having my back. You know, it is said when you start this journey, really, of anything, but for me, you know, I had the TV, I had my TV community. Then you have the social media, and you have social media community. My sister-in-law, my seaster. She is one of the OGs of the YouTube. She has her community. Yes, and if you're wondering who she is, it's Michelle Vidal. I think her name is Michelle Bell21. Look her up. She's a mom vlogger, mom fluencer. She's just extraordinary. So she did not go into school for broadcast journalism. I did. And when she decided to do her YouTube channel back in I think 2008, I turned my nose up at it and I said, I'm the one on TV, and now look where we're at. Uh, like my friend Ryan Lecky, who is the founder and CEO of Ryan Lecky Media in Scranton, Pennsylvania, says, if there is a trend, hop on it. Because he too did not do the YouTube back then because we were on TV. Because TV is always gonna be there. TV is always gonna be prosperous and it's always gonna have money to pay you. Err. Nope. Okay, so speaking of Ryan Lucky, and again, thank you to all of you for being my community and having this girl's back. I now know where my community is, where my I don't know what you want to say you guys are. What are you my community? I want something different. I want like the Medji militia, but without weapons. Weapons, mmm, not guns and knives and swords, because apparently we're in medieval times. We're gonna go with weapons of words, weapons of thought, weapons of action, positivity. So my Medji militia, thank you. Which brings me up to Ryan Leckie. So I uh started reflecting and uh specifically about those who want to criticize you, constructively or not. And uh I interviewed Ryan a couple months ago. I want to say back, I mean, technically I interviewed him in December, and then the segment didn't air until February. But um I when I interviewed him, he had so many pieces of advice, and I actually leaned into his words. And when you decide to make a pivot in your life, uh always have a village of people that you can turn to for a little bit of advice. Uh Ryan was one of my villagers, one of the whenever, you know what I'm saying. And he had a lot of good advice. So I I encourage you go back and listen to his podcast episode. If you're ready to do the thing, take the leap, move forward, you want to listen to his words. But the one thing, there was one of many things he said specifically about the critics out there. So I was able to pull up the clip, I edited it, and I'm gonna have you listen to it, and we're gonna talk a little bit. Now, to lead into this, just to give you a point in the in the interview, uh, he's talking about when he first came out as a gay man on TV, in TV news. It was like, oh gosh, it was back in, I mean, I was working there, so it was somewhere between 2011, 2014-ish. Uh, so he's this clip you're gonna hear, he's talking about what it was like to do that. And then he kind of added a really valuable piece of advice. So take a lesson.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

98% of the people on my socials were always very supportive, but then you get the people like, oh, but you're gay, right? And when he was when you first come out, it is so scary to acknowledge that. But now I'm like, you are correct, I'm gay. This is the picture of my partner and I, and we've been together for 20 years. Even more, give them what they're asking. And when I teach social media workshops now, I say you have to hug your haters, right? Like, acknowledge that because so many people I do actually. Totally, so many people, like it takes me back to you know, Brene Brown, who I love when she talked about the man in the arena speech, right, by Theodore Roosevelt, and how basically a lot of people love to take cheap shots at you when they're in the arena but not on the ground doing the work, getting dust and mud on their face, right? And you have to like block that out because those people don't matter.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

How about them apples, huh? So if you're thinking about that speech he was talking about, I pulled it up because I am I I pre-read it and I got real passionate. So we're gonna see how this goes. Okay. So what he's talking about, the man in the arena, um, it's uh from Theodore Roosevelt from his 1910 speech, Citizenship in a Republic. Let me wet the whistle here. It's not, I mean, it's like an excerpt of it, not the whole thing. Here we go. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how strong the man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Oh, I think I just called upon the heart and soul of Theodore Roosevelt, and I should run for president. Did you hear that conviction? So that is The Man in the Arena speech by Teddy Roosevelt. And remember, as Ryan Leckey says, hug your haters. Hug them. Hug them with all of your might and all the love you have to give. Every now and again you may want to pinch them. I did, but I don't do it often. I don't I don't respond, but um, yeah. How about that? Hug your haters. That's what we're walking away with today. Okay, so last week I opened up my journals to let you all know a little bit more about the process in which it I went through when I decided to change course and direction of my life from something I thought I was always gonna do and retire from.

unknown 12:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

And let me tell you, when you have 20 years of believing that, and then you change course, it is a this is a big ship. It is a big ship with some strong currents trying to change course in the ocean. Okay. Sometimes we come back thinking, go back. I've never gone back thinking like I'm gonna go back this time. Other times I have, but so as we change course, oddly enough, and one would say it's a sign from the universe, or as my friend Dana Brewington would say, it's so godly. Put a pin in that because we're gonna get to that. I received an email from an old dear co-worker slash friend. Her name is Jody Cook. And this email, now, when I read it, I may not get through it without tears because it was really like profound. And I and it's profound because my words of encouragement to her came back to me. It is, I'm tickled because it's such, it's so, it's, I love this shit. I love it. Okay. So there's a mix of emotions in this. So here we go. I I reach out to Jodi when she sent this to me. We went back and forth and I asked her if it was okay if I read part of the email. She said you read all of it, whatever you want. Um, I I picked and chose a couple parts, um, but it was it was just so moving. And it is really interesting when you open yourself up to things like this, and you say, you know what? You know what world, universe, God, whatever you believe in, higher power, whatever. Unless you're an atheist and you believe nothing, I don't know, but anything. If you're a witch, sure, anything, anything. You just open yourself up to receive.

unknown 14:37

Oof.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

One will receive, let me tell you. Okay. This is from Jody, and she sent this to me, and I'm talking like days after I opened up my journals and read them to you. So she listened to that podcast. Did she? I think she did, but she didn't mention the podcast in here. So this is why it was like kind of creepy. Okay. Not creepy, but significant. Reagan. I am in Allentown for the last several weeks, cleaning out my mother's house in advance of her progressive decline. While that may sound sad, I'm gonna already start. It has been nothing but a serendipitous journey through various phases of my life. Cleaning out every single paper, every single sock drawer accumulated over 40 years. That said, I know you are going through your own personal journey. I wanted to share with you something that I found that I think, quite frankly, for both of us at this unique time in our life could not resonate more. It's a note from you following my abrupt departure from TV2. Side note, if you remember TV, TV2, yes, the news station I worked at, where the owner came in dressed as Zorro for our Halloween episode and proceeded to go on air telling the weather as Zorro, and then got on the desk with me, who I was I was the main anchor with another one of my colleagues who is currently at the network. Um, I have to ask him if it's okay for me to talk about him. So I won't say who it is, but he is at a very big network right now. Oh, his humble beginnings. And then Zorro proceeded to ask me if um I like the Latin man and if I've ever been with the Latin man. Okay, so that's where I worked at with Jody. That's that's where I worked with Jody at. Well, you get the you get the drift. I'm getting all emotional. Okay, she continues saying, I am certain the beauty of this note was what advanced you through your career. I have no doubt it will continue to do so in your next chapter. Okay, so as I grab my phone, I'm gonna look at the screenshot and I'm gonna show the screen. I mean, it's a it's a picture of my note that I sent her. Okay. I mean, you want to talk about going down memory lane. So this is this note again was I I wrote it to her when she abruptly got let go at TV two. Tv2. R.I.P. Anyway, so it's it was written on Friday, September 10th, 2004. Now, this is before I even knew of Pilot. Oh, I know who I was dating to at the time. Okay, we won't get there yet. We'll just okay, anyway. Nice individual, but not for me. Dear reporter Jody, who guided me through a lot. A true guiding light. You inspired me from the day I began at Service Electric. Best wishes on your next endeavor. You'll be fabulous. I sketched out a couple of trails you may be interested in. Here it goes. WMDT in Salisbury, Maryland, WGA L in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, W H T M in Harrisburg, PA. Also, apply to TVjobs.com. I think I miswrote this. I oh Lord, I hope I did. I said, okay, so apply to tvjobs.com. About $30 a year. No, I think I meant $30, maybe $30,000 a year. To put that in perspective, my first TV job, I was making $30,000 a year. So that's probably what I meant. Uh Delaware, Atlantic, Delaware, Atlantic City, New Jersey, and Richmond, Virginia are also great places to start. These are all some places I've heard along the way. If you're still interested in TV glam, and I put the in quotes glam, because even back then we knew. As Sandy, who is our news director, said, you are incredible. I totally agree. A true hero as you continue to keep trucking. I will truly miss you and the help you gave me and the confidence boosters along the way. Thank you for everything, even the times you allowed me to vent. Just keep in mind when one door shuts, another one opens. Enjoy your next entrance. Am I tearing up on my own words? Yes. Judge me, go for it. Do I care? No. Oh my god. Okay, so let me get myself together. So we go back and forth, and then she says, Life is a funny thing. Oh gosh, here we go again. Lives cross for a reason, a season, a lesson, or a lifetime. I have watched your success on the Weather Channel and all of the stations.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

WNEP and New York. Oh goodness. I was beaming from Tulsa, Oklahoma, at a mid-market station, ironically, a Fox station.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

That I walked away from because I couldn't do it anymore. Do we see a theme? I get it. I love that you are embracing the 2.0. You know she's from back then when she says 2.0. I hear you, girl. Let's please stay in touch. I would love nothing more. You are a dynamic and a force. We got this girl. Jody, we do. And all of you listening, we freaking do, man. All right, I'm gonna lean over and get my my tissue, was not expecting. I mean, let's be honest with you. I was expecting this was gonna happen. I just get I get caught up. Now, I didn't get this emotional when I did TV because, like, you know, you're not paid to have, you're paid not to have emotions, thoughts of your own. And rightfully so, you're supposed to report the facts. You know what I mean? Can't be weepy-woe. There's no weepy-wooey. I get that, but here I can be weepy-woey. And I'm just touched because those were words I sent to her, came back to me shortly after I opened up my journal and like spilled my guts to all of you. So here's my call to action for all of you. And I don't know if you're as much as pilot would say a hoarder as I am, or as Melissa Welch, who is the minimalist organizer, extraordinaire, the version of Marie Kondo, that I guess Marie Kondo 2.0. Um, if you're a nostalgic person and you and you keep sentimental items like I do, go back 10, 20 years, find something that you wrote. Maybe an old card, maybe a loved one has a letter, and read it back to yourself. Will trip you up because there's so much life that happens from then until now. It's just wild. And I and I'm such a reflector. I mean, I don't glow at night, but one can argue. You know, I just I love it. And it just really it brings. I'm so I'm so into this, you know. And it would be interesting once you go back to your words, if you find them, to respond to them now. If you are a uh journaler, a writer, hit that journal. Find those old words and then respond to them. That was emotional. Okay. Dana Brewington. Remember I mentioned her and I told you put a pin in it. Okay, so Dana. Dana was my first interview I had on unscripted turbulence. And Dana Brewington, um, just so you know, uh, she has her own podcast as well. But the way I met her, um, I was, I just got done with my the beginning of like my actually my first podcast taping at Gotham Production Studios in Manhattan. And if you're in Manhattan, it's in the Garmin District. It's a great, great studio, great people, awesome. And I found this place, my friend Ellie suggested this place. I went in, I loved it. Um, so I recorded day one, and I was all over the place. And I I I thought I failed miserably. And in the first couple of episodes of Unscripted Turbulence, I edited it heavily because I couldn't get my thoughts out. I couldn't, I couldn't just go from start to stop. That was my main goal. What I do now, like I don't edit anything out. I think there's like two episodes I edited some stuff out, but it wasn't just because a person stumbled or they were like, ooh, can we redo that? So obviously, I like you're giving me your time, sure. Um, but I I I like try to make it like an actual conversation. We're on the phone, and we we whatever. And I was a mess because I'm used to quick clips, like a minute 30, that's it. I'm I'm used to an earpiece in my ear, having a director talk to me or tell me to rap, or maybe being a little strict in my ear. Rightfully so, get it. Um, and and then being able to like talk at the same time and wrap up my thought. Like, I I I wasn't used to just do I say freeballing it, you know? I wasn't used to that. So I'm defeated, I get in the elevator and I talk to everybody. I talk to everybody, but today, or that day, I was like, I'm not talking. In comes this woman in the elevator, and I'm thinking, I really don't want to talk. Normally I would, but I just I I I don't have it in me. But she did. And she was so sweet, looked at me and said, How'd it go? And that small question. A little question. It wasn't small, it was a little question. It was a great uh opening to a beautiful friendship. Oh, and we started talking, and I said, I just got down with news, like I just got out. I guess that was a prison sentence, but you know, I just left Channel 7 Eyewitness News, and before that was Fox 5, New York, and and before that it was CBS2, and I was like going through my rundown. I was like, I just I and I'm and I left, I just left. I I can't do it anymore, and I'm starting this podcast, and I think I stumbled, I don't know. And and and then she goes, Well, I was in TV as well. I said, Really? She was Gail King's producer.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Yep. And when I tell you she was Gail King's producer, if you happen to recall, and if you don't, look it up. The R. Kelly interview with Gail King. Remember that? And if you're not aware of it, R. Kelly got in Gail King's face, and Gail just kept her composure. That is not easy to do when you're on this side of the camera. And uh Dana was right there. She was the producer in the room, okay? Um so we just hit it off. And she was telling me, and I have a paper because I don't want to mess it up. So she has a podcast called Minds of Renewal. I I call it a god pod. It is a religious podcast. Um, am I religious? I consider myself more spiritual, um, but I'm open to anything and everything. So I think it's all fantastic. Life is fantastic, different people, different things, different beliefs. It's all, well, it's all fantastic, the positive parts, right? Everybody has a different thing. It's very interesting to me and fascinating. I'm not saying all of it's good, but I'll say it's all very interesting. And I have questions. So Dana's podcast, and if you are a spiritual person andor godly, please, please show her some love. So it's minds of renewal, and uh to better explain it, she helps people and herself have minds renewed and lives transformed through the power of Jesus Christ. That sounds pretty heavy if you're not a God follower or if you're not really into that, but she's not intimidating about it, if that makes any sense. Anyway, so we finally got together for lunch. We did it one other time, uh, but lives get busy and all this other stuff. So we reconnected and we we had lunch for I want to say three hours to the point pilot landed and was asking me, like, where are you coming home? If it wasn't for that text, I probably would still be with Dana. She is so enlightening. I just so I call her Godwink Dana because I don't know if you know what a Godwink is, but it's basically when God kind of puts something or someone in your path at a specific moment in time. Just to let you know, you got it. I'm here, I got you. So she was my Godwink that day because I was in the valley of despair thinking, what am I gonna do with this podcast? Because I can't even get my thoughts out. I went back to Dana's podcast recently that I did with her. Because I'm interested to see how much I've developed and grown with a podcast. And I mean, I'm very impressed with myself back then. So fast forward, I thought, you know, I wanted to re-listen and I I wanted to pick something out because it still sticks with me today. And it is um a a quote that she told me it was uh uh that that she had heard in this podcast clip, and it is so profound because it allowed me to realize now, looking back again, rewinding and and hearing that old podcast clip, I thought about today, and I thought about how I did it right. I did it right. I did it right.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

So take a lesson. You want to leave a place with people not wanting you to leave.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

You know, Oprah, oddly enough, we go from Gail to Oprah. I remember Oprah saying this, and I and it and it struck me when she left her talk show. Yeah. And I remember, I don't know if it was I read something, but she she was like, I I wanted to leave at a high point. Yes. Same, yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Yeah, not making a comparison to Oprah, but like I mean, but true.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

A level separated from Oprah, so let's be honest, let's call speed a speed here, okay, Dana. But yes. You are so funny.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

But yeah, I did want to, you know, sometimes if we stay in a place too long where when God has told us it's time to move, we're actually putting ourselves and people around us in a bad situation. Oh. Because now um, it's funny because I feel like I just heard Brenda Palmer say this. She's a a a minister um who preaches the gospel. And the way that she was explaining it is that when God told you to move and you don't, the grace goes where you're supposed to go. So if you don't go, that grace is gone. So now it's just gonna be stress, it's gonna be hardship, it's gonna be not just for you, but the people around you, because now you're also, and once again, this is Brenda Palmer's quote you're blocking the person who's supposed to take your place and their opportunities. Oof, right?

SPEAKER_03 32:00

So as I'm all reflecting today, hearing that clip allowed me to realize today that I left news at the right time for me. It was a shock to many people, and I really was on this high, and it was time to say goodbye. With that being said, to reiterate what Dana was saying, whether you call it God, the universe, or the gut, which is what I tend to call it. When you know it's time to move and you don't, the momentum doesn't wait for you, it goes where you were supposed to go. The grace doesn't stay. So don't hide. Okay, friends, we'll see you next week. Bye.